Hi Hollowers,

Thank you for all your crafty love recently, I know I have been delinquent on Facebook live but truth be told behind the scenes at the Hollow things are a little rough.  Maddi has some mental health issues that we are trying to get her the right help for, she has also developed a possible side effect of her JIA and we are ensuring she gets the treatment she needs.  Greg’s grandmother who we all love so dearly is very unwell and along with some other things we are handling our attention has been on getting all our ducks back in a row.  Thank you for all your love and support, know I will be back with you everywhere very soon.  However, back to today; I said things would be a little different today and they are.  Today is a day that will forever break my heart, it is the anniversary of my Grandfathers death.

If you read my post over the summer, you will know I only recently found out this news down to sadly family politics.  He will always be close in my heart and I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful comments and the beautiful cards you sent me when I wrote about his passing.  Thank you does not seem enough, but please know that whilst I don’t know when I will be able to go back and read that post, I read every comment and each and every card has been on display and is stored in my keepsake box.

My Grandparents raised me, they were the most wonderful people and our relationship can only be described of one based on love and respect and the circumstances that lead to us being apart are heartbreaking and something I will always have regret for; but these things happen nd families are very difficult things to navigate, especially when they are told mistruths by someone who they rely on, other relationships suffer.  Not a day went by I didn’t think of him and to this day I think of them both every day and in everything I do.  The work ethic and their life lessons mean the Hollow is what it is today.  They taught me to follow my dreams, live well and love lots.

My grandmother passed away when I was pregnant with Maddi and I always look at both my girls and think how much she would have loved seeing them and being a great-grandmother.  I have so many fond memories of her, anytime I knit I think of how I would spend the weekends with them and my teddy or doll of favor that week would have a whole new outfit she had knit while I was there, she could make the pattern up as she went and then crochet and edge or their initial on the pocket.  I wish she had been able to spend time with my girls but I believe she watches down over us and enjoys seeing the wonderful young lady Maddi has become and guides her through her struggles as she did for me.  I often felt she was the only one who understood me and I would pour my heart out to her even as I grew into an adult.  I knew she would never judge and I hope I can do the same for my children and grandchildren (in many many years!).  I will also remember how she loved to dabble on the horses, she would place a bet and if she won Grandad would get his cashews from M&S and I would get to go to Zodiac for a new toy.  They both taught me to share everything with family.

Neither of them were perfect and of course I have rose tinted glasses for the people who when I was alone always took me in and looked after me.  They are the memories of my childhood I will always treasure and knowing that I missed that opportunity to pick up the phone and talk to him for so many years rips through me every day and will always be my biggest regret.  A strong man, he taught me to always be respectful, work hard and try to always work for yourself.  Invest well, and plan for the future.  Share everything you have with you family and make lots of good memories.  Like the number of times he got in the little boat on the lake in  Castle Park, even though he didn’t really fit, but I wanted to so he did.  I remember once it even started to flood in.  I also remember walked up East Hill in my buggy; first gear, second gear, and full speed up that hill.  Brake ‘Nandad trains! He would turn around and walk back to count the carriages on the trains coming by. He taught me my love of maths, starting by counting the carriages.  His adventures in Borneo I remember making into stories for Maddi when she was very young.

I have so many good memories, too many to outweigh the regrets and the bad times.  I will always wish I had seen him once more; but I believe they are both together, looking down on us.  Guiding all four of us, helping us through and creating some good luck too.  I hope they are proud of our two little ladies and the life Greg and I have carved out for our family.  I hope their life lessons stay with me and are passed to Maddi and Tilly.  I also aspire to knit as she did so the girls have a wonderful Teddy wardrobe too!

Sending love to each and every one of you, families are difficult things; some scars are too deep to ever repair I know.  But love lots and live life to the full, pick up the phone or write a letter as you will forever regret it when its too late.

Love for the Hollow

Alexandra x